TAKE HEED OF AFRICAN IDIOMS

Selby Vusimusi Moyo
PAC Activist

By Selby Moya
Activist

Love has a weird way of ending.

It is difficult to comprehend why sometimes it has to end in tears given the fact that all the time the lovers had been smiling, having fun and promising each other all the world!

And I must say there are idioms which are attached to love affairs which st face value look harmonious

The said idioms stem from onlookers who can only wish for themselves the joy that they perceive is being had by the lovers.

Such idioms are reminiscent to the one used to describe two lovers in the 1970s South African movie “Udeliwe.”

And it goes as follows:

“Bebetetemuka nje ngamafutha nebhotela.

This implies the two lovers were moving smoothly like oil and butter, this as things between them were so sweet that nothing could apparently separate them.

Idioms are often forgotten or ignored these days and are absent in our midst, which perhaps explains the chaos reigning in our lives in general terms.

Now I look at the love that is now lost between South Africa and most of the Africans on the continent, and I wonder if there ever was love at all in the first place or whether one lover was just a convenience.

Many love affairs soon break because one of the lovers brings nothing to the table but emotions, and this situation soon becomes burdensome to the other lover, and once the other lover feels the pinch then it will soon be clear that the relationship cannot be sustained.

In some instances there is no effort by the one lover to make means, and when the other lover stands up to say such behaviour or transaction is not sustainable, the ego of the one lover gets bruised.

When a decision by one lover to ultimately end the relationship is taken, the other lover may take drastic steps; including taking their lover’s life.

Selfish reasons for such dastardly actions often go something like ” I love you so much, I cannot live without you,” or ” if I can’t have you then nobody else will have you.”

I am not sure whether there is anything like loving someone to death.

The scenario depicted above is similar to the “divorce papers” served on Africans from other countries on the continent who are living in South Africa to “please leave this country.”

Perhaps the said divorce papers were preceded by haggling and cussing between the lovers, with the promise of “loving you ’till death do us pat” ultimately becoming a curse.

Now the response of the lover (foreigners in this instance) as depicted in the aforementioned anecdote is hurtful.

This as they forget that they are like the proverbial “Freddy Freeloader,” who in actually fact “ungene ngebhantshi nje” (he/ she came to the household with a jacket as their only possession.)

The said hurtful words uttered by foreigners to South Africans in most cases are as follows:

“You are lazy, stupid and worthless.”

These are bold, stinging words making you wonder if they are borne of love at all, this as they come from someone who is akin to a lover who lives in the other lover’s house, eats their food and their lives are wholly dependent on the goodwill of the other lover.

And here, the other lover would silently ask themselves:

“Was it really worth the trouble, this love affair?”

The idiom that the freeloader has forgotten to take heed of in this instance is the one that goes:

“Moeng o naka di maripa…a visitor must have his/ her limits.”

Now when you are a visitor in a foreign land, you don’t take things for granted just because you were well-received.

You must carry yourself with humility!

You don’t start apportioning yourself other people’s property and start behaving in ways that make your host feel awkward; you don’t speak when you are not spoken to and you don’t tell the host that you have every right to say what you want, or do as you please.

But hey, you have those foreigners who pick up fights with the hosts.

They are like a lover who would go as far as telling the whole world the following about their lover:

“I was so good to that one and had it not been because of me they would have been nothing.”

And mind you, the lover came with nothing into the relationship and it takes time for her/he to realise their faults, and their ego wouldn’t let them apologise, and funny enough, they expect the loving host to apologise.

By the time reality dawns on the lover regarding the overwhelming damage they have caused on their lover via their behaviour, it is too late.

The question is what will it take for them to make amends…what about all the promises of togetherness and oneness?

The idiom that has been ignored here is the one that goes:

“Nkabe ke ngwana’morago…it’s too late to realise one’s mistakes at a later stage.”

Forgetting or ignoring African idioms leaves us without the much-needed wisdom and therefore unenlightened.

How I wish we treated African idioms with the care that they deserve!